Living on a Prayer
by SoxGirl18
Summary: Johnny's world is falling apart. Can he keep up his tough guy act and hold it all together?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or the song "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi.**

_"Take my hand. We'll make it, I swear." _Living on a Prayer, Bon Jovi 1986

**Chapter 1**

Johnny DiMarco stood in the entry of the church sanctuary. He dipped his fingers in the bowl of holy water and crossed himself before taking a seat in the back. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to make sense of what had transpired just two hours before. He was ready to leave for school when he went into his mother's room to tell her goodbye.

"Hey ma, I'm leavin'," he said. She was fast asleep, so he reached over to shake her awake. "Ma, I'm going to school," he said. Still no response. Johnny started to panic. _Oh please God, no! _he thought to himself. He touched her forehead. It felt cold. He then checked for a pulse, he didn't find one. Johnny then backed slowly out of the room, picked up the phone in the kitchen and called 911.

"Yeah," he said into the phone, trying to maintain composure, "my mom won't wake up." The 911 operator said an ambulance was on the way. When the ambulance arrived, Johnny's mother's best friend, Magda Lempky, came outside with her three boys. Johnny led the paramedics into his mother's room. They examined her and she was pronounced dead. Johnny tried to remain calm. After all, his mother had been ill for the past three years. He shouldn't be surprised that she was gone.

Johnny followed the paramedics outside as they carried her body out on a stretcher. A small crowd had gathered in front of the house. One of the paramedics gave Johnny a card with number to the hospital morgue on it and told him to call and make burial arrangements. Johnny stuffed the card in his pocket and started walking. He had no idea where he was going until he reached the church. He wasn't religious but he was raised in the Catholic church and taught to turn to the church in times of need. Like now.

Johnny's mother was diagnosed with Lupus when Johnny was in grade 7. Things went well for a while but halfway through grade 9, she started getting worse. The disease had spread from her joints to her lungs, kidneys and heart. The doctors had said that 90% of all Lupus patients went on to live normal, healthy lives. Johnny's mother followed the doctor's advice and took her meds as prescribed. So why did she end up in the unfortunate 10% that didn't make it?

After sitting there for about 30 minutes, Johnny got up. Before leaving the church, he put a dollar in the donation box and lit a candle for his mother. He walked outside and stopped at the nearest pay phone. He wanted to call his best friend, Bruce and tell him why he wasn't in school today. Johnny checked his watch. It was now 11:30, Bruce should be on his way to lunch right about now. He dialed Bruce's cell number and waited for him to answer.

"Yo!" said Bruce when he picked up.

"Hey Bruce," said Johnny, his voice cracking slightly.

"Johnny? Dude! Whatcha doin', playin' hooky?"

"Bruce...my mom died this morning."


	2. Chapter 2

_FYI: The word **nonna** means grandmother in Italian._

**Chapter 2**

Johnny's mom passed away on Friday and Johnny spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday making arrangements for her burial. He didn't call it a funeral since he believed funerals were elaborate, like when his nonna died when he was ten. There were around 40 to 50 people in attendance, she had a mahogany casket, a huge granite headstone and she was buried in the DiMarco family plot.

There would only be seven people in attendance at his mother's burial. She would be buried in a cheap pine box and instead of a headstone, she would only have a grave marker. And she would not be buried anywhere near the rest of the DiMarco family. If it wasn't for the church, Johnny would have never had enough money to bury his mother. Fortunately, the church provided burial assistance and the priest contacted the funeral home , cemetery and morgue. The burial was to take place on Wednesday.

Johnny hadn't been to school since the day before she passed away. He didn't call the school to tell them why he was absent because he didn't want anyone to know his personal business. He would have to make up an excuse when he returned to school on Thursday. Until then, he avoided answering the phone and checked the voice mail periodically, returning messages from anybody not employed by Degrassi Community School.

It was raining on the day Johnny's mom was laid to rest. _How appropriate_, Johnny thought, _d__reary weather for a dreary day._ Including the priest and Johnny, seven people gathered to pay their respects; Bruce, Magda, Stan and Maria,two of his mom's former coworkers and Jose, a close friend of Johnny's parents. She was buried in a far corner of the cemetery reserved for the poor people whose families couldn't afford to pay for big, elaborate funerals.

Halina DiMarco emigrated to Canada from Poland in 1989 at the age of 20 on a work visa. She was employed as a nanny for a rich family until kids' father made a pass at her and she was forced to quit. She then took a job as a cocktail waitress at the bar where Johnny's dad, Tony, played regular gigs with his band. The two fell in love, got married and had Johnny in 1992.

Despite the fact that Tony's prominent Italian-Canadian family had cut him off for marrying "some dumb Polack" and for choosing to focus on music, they had a pretty decent life. Tony was a drummer in a local band with a small, but devoted following and Halina still worked at the bar. They didn't have a lot of money, but they were happy.

en when Johnny was 13, his mom got sick and his dad got kicked out of the band for missing too many too many rehearsals and a couple of gigs. Johnny didn't even know his dad had a drug problem until he got arrested for possession. Maybe he knew and just blocked it out of his mind. His dad was now serving year four of a ten year sentence. Johnny's mom became too sick to work and she and Johnny had to go on welfare.

Johnny listened to Father Doherty give the eulogy. Johnny was asked to say something but declined. He was afraid he would break down in front of everyone and Johnny hated feeling vulnerable.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay our last respects to Halina DiMarco. Before her untimely death, she was a devoted wife to Anthony and a loving mother to John. Lord, we ask that you take her spirit with you to heaven and grant her everlasting peace. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

Everyone made the sign of the cross accordingly. Father Doherty sprinkled holy water on the casket which was down inside the grave. Bruce patted Johnny on the back and told him he needed to get back to school.

"Dude, call me later okay?"

"Sure, man."

Then Magda approached Johnny and offered to write a letter to is mom's family in Krakow. Magda's parents were from the same city in Poland that Johnny's mother was from and she knew Polish. The only things Johnny knew how to say in Polish were hello, goodbye, thank you, I love you, cold beer, dammit, bitch and fuck you. Not exactly the kinds of things you'd put in a letter. Johnny thanked her and gave her a hug before she left.

When Jose came up to Johnny, he asked if Jose could contact his father to let him know of his mother's passing.

"If I did it, I just know I'd lose it," Johnny explained.

"Sure, I'll go visit him and give him the news," replied Jose. "In the meantime, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

Johnny nodded. Jose patted his shoulder before turning to leave. Johnny looked at his mother's gravestone.

_Halina Gorski DiMarco_

_ 1969 – 2009_

_ Devoted Wife and Mother_

A tear ran down his cheek, he wiped it away.

"Goodbye, Mama," he whispered. Father Doherty came to Johnny's side and asked if he was okay. Johnny nodded. He got in his car and drove home. However, when he arrived, he saw the landlord and two other men carrying furniture out of his house. He got out of the car

"What the hell are you doing?" Johnny demanded.

"You're being evicted," replied the landlord.

"Evicted? Why?"

" 'Cause you and your mom are behind in your rent." _Holy crap, _thought Johnny, _I __used the rent money to help pay for the burial! _He stood there frozen as he watched some guy throw his possessions out the second floor window. Life as he knew it was definitely over. _God, _he prayed silently, _what did I do to piss you off so much? What am I supposed to do now? _Just then, Magda came outside and approached Johnny.

"Johnny, I tried to get them to stop. At least until you got here."

" It's okay, Magda."

"Please, come and stay with us." The landlord overheard Magda's offer.

"He can't stay with you, Mrs. Lempky. He's not on your lease. Not unless you want to be evicted too." Johnny didn't feel comfortable staying with Magda's family anyway. Magdas's oldest son was Johnny's former friend, Drake Lempky. Drake was currently serving a life sentence for murdering a kid named J.T. York. Johnny was the only eyewitness. The judge made a deal with Johnny: testify against Drake and get probation or lie in the stand and do time. Johnny testified against Drake in court. He wasn't going to lie and be dragged down along with Drake for something he didn't do. As the bailiff put Drake in handcuffs and led him out of the courtroom, Drake looked Johnny in the eye. He said that Johnny was not his friend and for Johnny to burn in hell.

Drake's three brothers, Aaron, Tyler and Jeremy, looked up to their brother. So, if Drake hated Johnny, they did too. Drake's dad was always making excuses not to spend time at home. He was either working late or having a drink with his friends, so he had no clue what was going on.

But Magda was a saint as far as Johnny was concerned. She never harbored resentment toward Johnny. She was always willing to help Johnny and his mom in any way she could. Johnny loved her for that. He gave Magda a hug goodbye and tried to salvage what he could. He took anything that was practical and could fit in the trunk of his car. He grabbed his pillow and blanket, clothes and personal items, CDs and books, and any food that didn't need to be cooked or refrigerated like peanut butter, jelly, bread, dry cereal, cookies, potato chips, bottled water and orange juice. Once he had everything he needed, he got in the car and took off. _Where am I gonna stay tonight? _He asked himself. He remembered that the church ran an overnight shelter, so he decided to see if he could stay there. But when he passed by, the line to get in was already around the block even though it was only 4:00 and it was still raining. He decided just to sleep in his car.

This car was a blessing. It had been the family car but after his dad was put away, Johnny made a point to get his driver's license. Not just so he could use the car for himself but also to drive his mom around. When she became too sick to work, she was also too sick to drive. And now this car was his home.

Johnny found a parking spot near the playground. After a dinner of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, potato chips and bottled water, he got his pillow and blanket from the trunk. He then got in the car, locked the doors, settled in the back seat and went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was Thursday, Johnny's first day back at school. He slept about as well as could be expected under the circumstances. Breakfast consisted of a couple handfuls of dry cereal straight out of the box and warm orange juice straight out of the bottle. Not the best but better than nothing. Armed with a crudely forged sick note on the back of a store receipt found on the floor of his car, Johnny went straight to Principal Shepherd's office. He hoped The Shep would buy his fake alibi as to where he'd been the last four school days.

"Welcome back, Mr. DiMarco, have a seat," Shepherd said to Johnny. The boy sat down and started to explain himself.

"Yeah, I been sick, but I brought a note from home." Johnny reached into his jacket pocket. The principal put up his hand.

"That's not necessary, John. Your friend Mr. Sullivan told me about your mother's passing. I'm sorry for your loss." _Bruce! _thought Johnny angrily_. He promised he wouldn't say anything!_

"Thank you, sir" Johnny said begrudgingly.

"Your teachers have all been notified. Everything will be okay, son." Johnny nodded and excused himself.

All morning people who couldn't care less if Johnny lived or died were suddenly coming up to him and telling him they were sorry for his loss. That's what he had been tying to avoid. He didn't want anyone knowing his business. Right before lunch, when Johnny was walking to his locker, an announcement came over the PA.

"Attention students," said Ms. Hatzolakos over the loudspeaker, "please join me in offering condolences to Johnny DiMarco whose mother passed away on Friday." _Well, Hotsauce, __everybody already knows. But I guess you just have to make it official, huh? _Johnny thought sarcastically. When Johnny arrived at his locker, he opened it, threw his books in and then slammed it shut.

"Kurwa!" he shouted. Kurwa was a Polish cuss word that literally meant whore or bitch but people sometimes used it to mean dammit or fuck you. Johnny taught the word to Bruce when they were still at Lakehurst. Once when Johnny, Bruce and Drake where sitting on the floor by Bruce's locker when Holly J. Sinclair walked by. Bruce said to her "hey kurwa". Holly J. gave Bruce a strange look and then rolled her eyes, shook her head and continued walking. Johnny and Drake, who knew the word also, couldn't control their laughter. Especially since Bruce didn't even say it right. The word was pronounced _koor-va_ and he said _kerr-va_. But it wasn't like Holly J. knew what he was saying anyway.

"Boy, I haven't heard that word in a long time," Johnny heard a familiar voice say behind him. He turned around to see his so-called best friend Bruce "The Moose" Sullivan.

"Sullivan, why did you tell everyone about my mom?" demanded Johnny.

"Hey man, teachers got on my case wanting to know where you were. What was I supposed to tell them?"

"That you didn't know, like I told you to say."

"Dude, look on the bright side. At least now they'll cut you some slack, huh?" But Johnny didn't need teachers to cut him any slack. He actually liked school, the learning aspect of it. He just didn't like the stupid rules or the phony social politics.

"It's okay, I got a bigger problem. The bastard landlord evicted me yesterday," Johnny told his friend.

"Dude, where'd you sleep last night?"

"My car."

"Whoa, that's not cool, dude. Come stay at my place," Bruce offered.

"I can't, Bruce, your dad hates me," said Johnny. This was true. Bruce's dad was trying to relive his own glory days as a high school football star through his son. He felt Bruce couldn't achieve football stardom by being friends with a lowlife like Johnny. He kept pushing his son to become better friends with that douche bag, Derek Haig.

"No problemo, amigo," replied Bruce. " He works the graveyard shift and won't be home until after midnight. We'll turn in before he gets home and leave for school before he wakes up tomorrow. Besides, my mom's making lasagna tonight." Bruce knew how much Johnny loved his mom's cooking.

"Okay, fine," Johnny said, smirling.

But the prospect of a home cooked meal was not enough to lift Johnny's spirits. He knew he couldn't stay at Bruce's forever. During his free period that afternoon, Johnny was sitting alone in the courtyard. He heard a female voice say "hey". He turned around to see Alli Bhandari standing there. He hadn't talked to in a while and it was good to see her. They had an on/off relationship earlier in the year. But because of all the drama and a couple of bad moves on both their parts, they decided to just be friends. Johnny motioned for Alli to come and sit beside him.

"I'm sorry to hear about your mom," she said, sincerely. Alli was one of the few people whose condolences meant anything to Johnny

"Thank you, Alli".

"How ya holding up?"

"I'm holding up...barely," Johnny smiled at her weakly. Johnny had never told Alli about his mom and figured now was as good a time as any.

"My mom had a disease called Lupus. It attacks the organs. 90% of the people who have it are supposed to do okay. My mom was in the other 10%."

"I'm sorry," replied Alli. She didn't know what else to say.

"And to add insult to injury, I got evicted yesterday. Right after she was put into the ground," Johnny continued. He figured he may as well tell her everything.

"I'm living in my car. The only time I get to shower and eat a hot meal is at school."

"What about the rest of your family?"

"My mom's family is in Poland," he explained. "My dad's family cut us off when he married her. They don't like her because she and my dad had to get married because of me. Now my dad is in jail for doing something stupid. I have no one, Alli." He took a deep breath.

"My world is falling apart and I'm having a hard time holding it together," he said, his voice cracking.

Alli spread her arms to give Johnny a hug. Johnny wrapped his arms around her, rested his head on her shoulder and began to cry. It was the first time he cried since his mom's burial. Alli said nothing, she just held him until he stopped. When he stopped crying, Alli and Johnny went back inside.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of that," said Alli.

"Consider it an honor, Backwoods," he replied, using the infamous nickname she earned thanks to him. "Many people have tried to find out what makes Johnny DiMarco tick and failed." Alli giggled. She loved Johnny's dry sense of humor.

"Seriously, thanks for listening."

"Of course, Johnny. Hey, have you talked to the school social worker?"

"I don't really trust social workers." Johnny remembered how humiliating it was when he and his mom applied for welfare when she had to stop working. The lady was rude when she demanded all kinds of documentation as proof that his mom was too sick too work. She also demanded to know every detail of their lives. Johnny wanted to haul off and punch that woman in the face. He also remembered what a total bitch the school social worker at Lakehurst was. Mrs. Hagerty, aka The Hag. She was nosy and rude as hell too. He spat in her face on more than one occasion.

Actually, the truth to the matter was that it was difficult for Johnny to ask for help.

"Well maybe Ms. Souvet will be different. Johnny, you don't deserve this, no one does."

"Yeah? Tell that to God."

Alli laughed again, said goodbye to Johnny, and left for her last class. Johnny looked forward to going to Bruce's house after school even though he was anxious about Mr. Sullivan finding out he was there. When he and Bruce walked in the front door, Bruce's mom gave him a big hug.

"Johnny! I'm so sorry about your mom." Johnny was beyond grateful for Mrs. Sullivan's hospitality. It had been too long since he had her awesome lasagna. He loved being fussed over by her. After dinner, Mrs. Sullivan asked Johnny how he liked the lasagna.

"Delicious as always, Leona," he said.

Everything seemed to go according to plan. Johnny slept on the floor in Bruce's room. It reminded him of when they were in grade school and slept over at each other's houses all the time. Then Johnny made the mistake of getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. He was just leaving the bathroom when he came face to face with Bruce's dad.

"Hey Charlie, what's up?" said Johnny standing his ground.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Taking a piss, sir."

"You know I don't want your punk ass in my house!" Mr. Sullivan grabbed the back of Johnny's wife beater, dragged him to the front door and threw him outside. Johnny stood there in the cold in only his wife beater and boxers. Mr. Sullivan opened the door again and threw out Johnny's clothes. Johnny put on his pants and jacket which were on the ground next to him, gathered up the rest of his things and went to his car. _Maybe I shouldn't have parked my out front, _he thought. He drove around for a while trying to find a safe place to park. He finally decided to park in the Degrassi parking lot. At least he wouldn't be late for school tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

Johnny was fast asleep in the back seat of his car when he heard a knock on the window. He woke up to find Alli outside holding a cup of coffee and a small paper bag, both bearing The Dot's logo. He smiled and rolled down the window.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" Alli sang.

"Alli, you're an angel!"

Johnny took the bag from her. Whatever was inside smelled delicious. He tore the bag open to find a croissant with bacon, egg and cheese. Taking a big bite, he closed his eyes and savored it. Then Alli handed him the coffee.

"Will you marry me?" he asked jokingly.

"You're so silly!" Alli giggled. "Hey, did you talk to Ms. Souvet yet?"

"Nope."

"Promise me you will?"

"I'll see if I get around to it." Just then, a bell sounded.

"I gotta go," Alli said and went inside the school. Johnny finished his breakfast.

The school was already abuzz with a juicy rumor courtesy of the Anti-Grapevine. It seemed a certain senior boy and a certain niner girl were caught in a passionate embrace in the courtyard yesterday afternoon. Everyone correctly assumed it was Alli and Johnny. They decided to just go along with it if anyone asked. God forbid Chante Black should find out that Johnny had been crying.

All morning, Johnny contemplated taking Alli's advice. He had nothing to lose, really. Besides, it was Friday. What was he going to do about showering and eating a hot meal this weekend when the school was closed? After lunch, he decided to pay Ms. Souvet a visit. When he got to her office, the door was open where she was doing paperwork. Johnny cleared his throat and Ms. Souvet looked up.

"Excuse me," Johnny said. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure, come on in," she replied. Johnny stepped inside the office, closed the door and took a seat across from Ms. Souvet. She turned out to be cool. She didn't judge Johnny and seemed genuinely concerned about his situation. She called a group home located near the school to see if they had any space available. The place was for boys between the ages of 13 and 21. It just so happened a resident had just moved back home and and there was a vacancy.

If anyone were to tell Johnny six months ago that he would be living in a group home, he would have laughed in their face. But now he was desperate. Ms. Souvet handed the phone to Johnny and he spoke to a counselor name Eddie. They made arrangements for Johnny to move in after school. Johnny got up and thanked Ms. Souvet and then turned to leave.

"Johnny," she said. "Now in order for you to live there, you're going to have to follow the rules."

"I know," Johnny said. What choice did he have?

When school let out, Johnny drove to the group home. When he rang the buzzer, the front door opened and a man in his thirties answered.

"Hey, I'm Eddie," the guy said, extending his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Johnny." They shook hands and Johnny followed Eddie inside. Eddie gave Johnny a tour of the place. When they passed the TV room, a group of boys were watching cartoons and Eddie introduced Johnny to them. Johnny spotted KC Guthrie, who was in the gifted program with Alli. KC spotted Johnny too and they nodded hello to each other. KC had seen Johnny brushing his teeth in the boys' bathroom this morning. He didn't ask him about it since it was none of his business.

"You'll be rooming with KC." said Eddie as he showed Johnny to his room.

"I know KC," said Johnny. "He's a good kid."Johnny looked around the room. KC's side had posters of basketball players and rock stars on the walls, the bookcase was packed with books and a toy basketball hoop was attached to the closet door. On the other side, the bed was freshly made up, the bookcase was empty and so was the the closet. Johnny was somewhat relieved that he at least knew one person there.

Johnny went out to his car and got his things. He then took a shower before dinner. The water was nice and hot and the towels were soft and smelled nice. The showers in the boys locker room at school were unpredictable as far as water temperature was concerned. Plus, the towels were scratchy. Johnny decided he could get used to living here.

There were a total of 12 boys living in the group home. At dinner, they all sat at a long table in the dining hall. Johnny sat between KC and some kid named Malik. After some awkward small talk, Johnny learned that he and KC were the only two who went to Degrassi. The boys ate lasagna. It wasn't as good as Mrs. Sullivan's, but Johnny ate it anyway. He even had seconds.

"It's been a long time since you had real food, huh?" asked Malik. He wasn't making fun of Johnny, he was empathizing with him. Johnny nodded as he took a swig of milk. It hadn't been that long, actually.

When Johnny and KC got ready for bed, KC offered his condolences. Johnny thanked him and then got under his covers. He said good night and turned off his bedside lamp. KC's lamp was still on.

"Mind if I leave my light on so I can read?" asked KC.

"Not at all," said Johnny. He was too tired to care.

Over the weekend, Johnny got acclimated to his new surroundings. KC gave him some survival tips. He told Johnny which of the boys were cool and which ones to avoid. He also told Johnny that since he was one of the older ones, he had more privileges. As the two boys got to know each other, they discovered they had a lot in common. They liked some of the same bands, movies and books. KC had even lived a few blocks from Johnny when he was younger.

On Monday, Johnny and KC left for school together, but when they got outside, they went in different directions. Johnny called out after KC.

"Where ya goin'?"

"To the bus stop."

"Forget the bus, I'll drive you. We're goin' to the same place, right?" KC graciously accepted Johnny's offer. When they got to school, Bruce saw them get out of Johnny's car. He followed them up the steps and into the building.

"Hey johnny, what ya doin' givin' rides to niners?" He asked.

"Mind your own business, Bruce," Johnny replied,

"I looked for you all weekend, where ya been?"

"I said mind your own business Bruce!"

Life as Johnny DiMarco once knew it had changed. It would take some getting used to, but he knew everything would be all right.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:By special request, here is the last chapter of _Living on a Prayer_. I realize that ending it the way I did was lame. So I'm giving it a proper ending.**

**Chapter 5**

It had been almost a month since Johnny's mom died and he decided to visit her grave. A lot had changed in the last three and a half weeks since her death and Johnny wanted to tell her how he'd been doing.

He'd seen people talking to the graves of their deceased loved ones in movies. So, as corny as it seemed, he thought he'd give it a shot anyway. Who knew? Maybe she really could see and hear everything he did or said from her place up in heaven.

Johnny liked to believe it was so.

"Hey Ma," he said, looking around to make sure no one could see or hear him. "A lot has happened since you left this world and I just wanted to let you know how I'm doing." Taking a deep breath, he continued.

"We got evicted, well I got evicted," he said, laughing nervously. "I was living in my car for a couple days. Magda offered to let me live with her but the landlord said no. Bastard. I'm in a group home now, it's not so bad. Better than living in a car."

"I'm still making the honor roll at school. Gonna start looking for a job soon. I really miss you, Mama". Johnny's voice started to crack and tears welled up in his eyes. "It's not fair that God took you away so soon. I mean, I slept next to you the night before and I had no idea that you were slipping away from me. You left so quietly. But I'm tough, ya know. I'll make it since I got you watching over me, right?"

"I brought you something," he said, holding up a single pink carnation. "Kinda lame, I know, but it's all I could afford. And I know pink's your favorite color." Johnny kissed the blossom and lay the flower down across her grave marker.

"You're in a better place now and you're not suffering anymore. That's good." Johnny looked up at the sky. "I'm always looking at the clouds now, trying to find you. I think I saw your face once or twice."

Johnny looked back down on his mother's grave. A tear rolled down his cheek, but instead of wiping it away, he just let it go. Instead of trying to keep from crying like he usually did, he just let go and started bawling. He knew she wouldn't judge him.

"Why did such an awesome lady have to deal with so much garbage? You were great about it, though. You just took it in stride and just kept going. I know I got my strength from you, Ma, and I am so very grateful."

"I know I wasn't always a very good son to you, but you never stopped loving me unconditionally. I've been truly blessed, thank you Ma." Johnny's breathing was returning to normal and all the tears in him were spent.

"I met an awesome girl. Her name is Alli. Actually, I met her when you were still alive. But you were so sick and I wasn't sure it was the right time. Now, I wish I would have introduced you. You would've liked her, Ma. She taught me to open up and not keep everything so bottled up inside. She helped me be a better person. She's one of my best friends."

"Dad knows you've passed on. I asked Jose to go visit him and tell him. I knew if I did it myself, I wouldn't be able to without getting all emotional. It's been a while since I talked to him, but I know he loved you, still loves you. He may not have been able to show it and I know he let you down. Yet you forgave him and you still believed in him. He's a lucky man to have had you."

"This won't be the first time I'll be coming to visit you and talk to you. I'll do whatever I can to be able to come see you. You know you're in my prayers. I love you, Mama." He took a deep breath, made the sign of the cross and walked out to his car.

It had been cloudy when Johnny first arrived at the cemetery but now the sun was shining brightly. Johnny could feel his mother's arms around him.

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and review this story. **

**Tatyana**


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